Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot

Blessings on your New Year.

I celebrated the Eve thereof with my three grandsons. At the moment we were about to begin a new game, the lights went out. We all stuck together as we sought candles to light. It was quite a little adventure I think. They might’ve been a tad nervous about the whole thing. Luckily, the electricity came back on quickly, and their parents came home early enough for me to get home before midnight. I avoid being on the road after that. I did stay up and watch a little TV, but I didn’t drink a toast or watch the ball drop. When I led women’s ministries at my church in Redding, I watched a lot of balls drop, so I’ve had my fill of that.

Besides, it can be a melancholy moment. Take the song, Auld Lang Syne. It isn’t a happy song, and yet it’s song every year all over the world. Until recently, I never knew all the lyrics. Here are the lyrics translated from the old Scottish dialect. They're often attributed to poet Robert Burns. It's about old friends once parted and reunited, they share a drink and fond memories. Melancholy.

A few days before New Year’s Eve I spoke to my dear friend, Maureen, who was visiting her daughter’s family in Florida. We shared our cup of kindness and reminisced. Even though thousands of miles apart, we each had a glass of champagne and toasted our old and enduring friendship. No need to wait for December 31.

Here’s a revelation for you (or not): Relationships are hard. If you want one to last 50 years you have to work at it.

I think I’m not very good at that. Pursuing friendship requires tenacity, and I get tired too easily. If you’re wondering what I mean, just move away and see how many people stay in touch more than a year. I moved from New York to California when I got married, and I couldn’t even get my family to keep in touch. But that’s my family. And I’m not counting my parents. ‘Course, they’re obligated . . . know what I mean?

Next move was from Southern California to Redding. All those "close" friendships dried up like puddles in the midday sun. Two couples, however, did remain close. I was and am truly thankful for them. But even with telephone calls and visits, it’s difficult to maintain the same level of intimacy. You can’t just drop in like the O’Brien’s did when they lived 30 yards away. It was fun, and so easy.

Now I’m back in Southern California, separated from Redding friends and church family, and going through changes once more. I do make phone calls and leave messages, but it’s not the same. It’ll never be the same. Out of sight; out of mind, I suppose. But that’s okay. I’m in a new place, and I need to find friends here, in my neighborhood, people with whom I can relate. It’s hard. Most folks are already settled in their lives, their routines.

Truth is, old acquaintances are forgotten.

I know. It’ll take time. And effort.

Nevertheless, a new year! 2012. What’s the hype? Fresh hopes. New beginnings. I find it odd that anyone would wait until January 1 to make a change in her life, but that’s the purpose of the New Year’s resolution. I wonder how many are actually kept. I find that as soon as I decide to evoke a character change, I lack the power to overcome. Better to be ready to change as soon as you discover a defect. Heck. It keeps me busy.

So the party’s over, the new year begins. But if you’re looking for a really big party, celebrate Chinese New Year. The year of the Dragon. I hear it’s a 15-day celebration starting Jan. 23.