Humility: An Ongoing Struggle

I hate being taught humility. I want to be a humble person, but the training is a bear. Because the only way you can learn humility is to have your pride kicked in. And any kicking, unless it's against a ball, I am firmly against.

I had my pride pummeled recently. Serve as a volunteer, especially in a leadership position, and you can expect such experiences. As I sit writing in the "Prevening" of the fifth day since the incident, I'm finally feeling some peace.

This morning, Pastor said, When you fail to be an example of His love, confess the failing, and ask Him to help you the next time. (Not an exact quote, but my take away.) In fact, I've been beating myself up good for most of the five days. My mind has clamped onto the "shoulda, woulda, couldas" of the event, as well as the sense of betrayal by those I trusted. I keep running the tapes in my head with alternate scenarios, which you know is of absolutely no use. Nevertheless, there I am.

I realize that God is using the circumstances to teach me humility, and I'm truly broken inside. But I struggle to let go, so instead I write. Getting it out of my head onto "paper" is a good idea.

I serve on the board of directors of the HOA at my condominium. Since it's a senior complex, many people feel they are too old to get involved. Some don't often venture outside. Still others work and feel they don't have the time to volunteer. I'm blessed and amazed at those who are older than I, yet do whatever they can for the community.

Nevertheless, there is a target on my back.

Part of the reason is that I am passionate about bringing order out of chaos, abiding by the rules, and fairly applying them to everyone. Not an easy thing to do. And since the enactment of Davis-Stirling, much more complicated than when George and I lived in our condo in West Hills.

The Davis-Stirling Common Interest Development Act, enacted in 1985, is the common name of the portion of the California Civil Code which governs condominium, cooperative, and planned unit development communities in California. But because I live in a Senior development, there are additional Federal and State laws which apply. On top of that, we are governed by CC&Rs and Rules & Regulations--a lot of reading is required, as well as interpretation. You have to love lawyers. There is now a segment of the legal community devoted to HOA law.

Many people should never live in a planned development and have no idea what they are getting into when they move in. It's like living in a commune. Everybody has a responsibility to their neighbors and shares the cost of maintenance. One man's ceiling truly is another man's floor. (And you really should check out the lyrics here.) Cleaning up after one another is an ongoing struggle. And don't get me started about dogs!

Additionally, most HOAs also employ a management company. These companies have a huge responsibility to know and understand all the governing documents, see to all the accounting, and write lots of letter to homeowners who push the envelope on rules interpretation. Mostly, they don't even read the rules, which gets them in trouble. Then they get mad at the messenger.

As you can imagine, the management company and its representative must be trusted persons, because the homeowners rely on their expertise and honesty. Once this trust is lost, it's time to make a change. And therein lies my current dilemma. We are battling with our management company. We must now regroup and take a new tack, because doing nothing is not an option.

It's a thin line that directors have to walk to keep the peace while fulfilling their Fiduciary duty. Some take it more seriously than others. I am one of the former, so ruffling feathers goes with the territory. And delivering the truth in love is a difficult proposition. So in the midst of the humbling incidents, I will attempt again to do the right thing for my neighbors, whether they know it or not, and whether they like it or not.

And would somebody please pull that shaft from between my deltoids?