To Shoe or Not to Shoe

Have you ever wondered about the change in societal manners and etiquette? If you’re a youngster, probably not. But if you’re a member of the post-war Baby Boom, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_boomer) you might. Our parents taught us such things as how to set a table, the regular use of "please" and "thank you," don't talk with your mouth full, never open someone else’s refrigerator (unless it’s grandma’s), men and boys should remove their hats indoors, and always wipe your feet before entering a house.

Much of this seems to be lost on the current generation embarking on parenthood. Not ALL mind you. My grandsons are learning to . . . hold on to your hats . . . write thank you notes. A special thanks to my daughter-in-law. Sam and Teddy also ask after my well-being, hold doors open and carry packages for me. That’s right, I’m smiling.

And I’m not blaming those upon whom the concepts are lost. They simply weren’t taught, for reasons I won’t delve into here. Let’s press on.

I recently had repairs done in my home, requiring workman of various types to come and go. Some removed their shoes without being asked, others did not. Most had to be asked/reminded to wipe their feet. With some, I waited to see if they would be careful to clean their shoes before entering, and others I asked to do so beforehand. The majority made no effort unless asked. And these are workmen . . . people with paint and dust and dirt on their work boots.

But even guests had to be reminded to clean their shoes before entering. I don’t mean to be persnickety, but a little common courtesy would be appreciated. I’ve been trying to determine the best way to communicate my needs in this area. I don’t want to offend, but neither do I want to be uncomfortable in my own home. I remove my shoes when I come home, and put on slippers. Is it appropriate to ask everyone to take off their footwear? What if they are embarrassed or not wearing socks?

Consider this: walking barefoot on your carpet isn’t the best idea, because of oils on your feet, plus, the carpet fabric can dry out your skin. My friend, Ellie, had a party once and handed a pair of spa socks to each guest as she arrived. I was delighted. Yet, I can’t see myself asking "Joe the Plumber" to slip on some cozy socks when he comes to fix a leak in my kitchen. Know what I mean?

Perhaps I can approach people from the point of view of it being a health and safety issue.

A recent news article suggested it’s a good idea to remove our shoes because of what’s being tracked inside. Afer some research, I couldn’t find that article, but I discovered this:

         http://shoesoffatthedoorplease.blogspot.com/
A entire blog devoted to the issue! And . . . .

http://www.redbookmag.com/health-wellness/advice/household-chemicals
A Redbook magazine article entitled, DON'T LET THE BAD STUFF IN which said,
Part of keeping the air in your house cleaner is simply not letting certain things into it in the first place. Easy ways to do that:Kick off your shoes in the front hall. The bottoms of our shoes are covered in a fine layer of chemicals, dirt, bacteria, and mold. That stuff settles onto floors and into carpeting, and regular household activity can stir it up, causing you and your family to breathe it in.Plus an article in the Online Journal of Issues in Nursing May, 2007 which included a list of ways to decrease the risks of lead in the home.

Yes. Lead is apparently being tracked into our homes on the bottom of our shoes. That got my attention. I like to sit on the floor with my grandsons and play games.

As a result, I’m in the market for a sticker or unobtrusive sign to hang on my door. Shoes off. Please.

It is not my intent to debate the relative importance of such gestures compared to greater societal ills, and fears, such as terrorism, environmental hazards, disease and unemployment. I get that many people are struggling to put food on the table and keep their kids safe. By the same token, I feel that sacrificing civility, humility, and deference to others accelerates humanity’s decline. The crudeness and coarsening of our language is reflected in popular TV programs, music and movies. Self-restraint is dead. Self-centeredness is the order of the day.

But, kind sir . . . gentle woman, in my house . . . please remove your shoes. Okay?